Fostering a child is an act of love, courage, and commitment. For Dionne Barnett, becoming a foster parent was not part of a well-laid plan. It was a decision made in the middle of a crisis—a decision that changed her life and the lives of her foster children forever. Watch her full story in this video.
The Call That Changed Everything
It all began with a late-night call from a screener Dionne had worked with for many years. On the other end of the line was a plea for help: her second cousins were in crisis and needed a home. Even though she hadn’t seen them in over five years, Dionne didn’t hesitate. “I knew I didn’t want them to go with strangers when I had a home with just me to take them in,” she recalls. Despite her lack of parenting experience and the concerns of her relatives, Dionne opened her heart and her home.
Overcoming Initial Fears and Doubts
Dionne’s journey into fostering wasn’t without its challenges. She humorously reflects on her initial concerns: “The first thing I thought about was, ‘Oh my God, I can't even fry chicken. I can DoorDash. I'm the queen of DoorDash, and I can set a beautiful table.’” While these light-hearted moments reveal her nerves, they also underscore her determination. At 57, never having parented before, she was ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, driven by the desire to provide a safe, loving environment for her cousins.
The Power of a Supportive Village
One of the most powerful lessons Dionne learned early on was the importance of a support system. From the moment her friend showed up in the middle of the night with supplies, Dionne realized she wasn’t in this alone. “You should depend on your village so you don't have to know everything,” she says. This realization was crucial for her, especially during moments when she felt overwhelmed. She learned to ask for help and lean on those around her.
Re-evaluating Her Views on Parenting
As someone who worked in Children’s Services for 27 years, Dionne admits she had high expectations for parents. However, stepping into the role herself was eye-opening. “Now I know the frustration when we at JFS were overwhelmed, understaffed, and underpaid, that you can't get to people as quickly as possible,” she reflects. This newfound empathy has made her appreciate the hard work and dedication of foster parents even more.
Creating a Safe and Loving Home
Dionne’s commitment to her foster children goes beyond providing shelter. She has worked hard to create a safe, nurturing environment where they can thrive. One particularly touching moment was when her foster child, Sebastian, said, “Now, cousin, you know I love you, but I'm only going to be here two weeks because my friend's mom's going to come for me.” Over a year later, Sebastian is still there, a testament to the deep bond they have formed.
Dionne takes great pride in celebrating her foster children’s milestones, from attending honor ceremonies to dropping them off at college. “Some of my friends said that I should be grateful because some parents never get to drop off at college. And I had her under a year and was already dropping her off for college,” she shares. These moments are filled with pride, joy, and the recognition of the profound impact she has had on their lives.
Navigating the Day-to-Day Challenges
Of course, fostering comes with its share of challenges. Dionne candidly talks about the daily struggles, like getting her teenage foster child to school on time and navigating the ups and downs of adolescence. “I had to learn that you know I can't force my will on him,” she admits. Instead, she focuses on teaching them about consequences and making better choices, always fostering open communication and mutual respect.
Building Trust and a Sense of Family
One of the most moving aspects of Dionne’s story is her commitment to building trust and a sense of family. After a particularly difficult incident, she sat down with her foster children to create a “safety agreement,” ensuring that they could always come to each other in times of need. “I wasn’t trying to be a therapist stepping out of my lane, but we did our own little safety agreement,” she says. This exercise helped solidify their bond and foster a sense of belonging and security.
The Joy of Becoming a “Forever Cousin”
For Dionne, being a foster parent is more than just a role—it’s a calling. She cherishes the little moments, like when her foster children knock on her door and call her “Cousin.” They once asked her if she was lonely before they arrived. With a smile, she reflects, “I guess I was. I thought I was kicking it, dating and all that. But now I’ve got you guys.”
Dionne’s journey as a foster parent is a powerful reminder of the impact one person can make in the lives of children in need. Her story is one of love, resilience, and the transformative power of family—whether by blood or by choice.
Join Us in Creating Families
We are so grateful to have parents like Dionne as a part of Necco and celebrate their dedication. Together, we can change lives and build a brighter future for children in foster care. We encourage you reading this to #BeHome for them.
If you want to become a foster parent or learn more about the process, visit: https://necco.org/.
If you want to make a difference in the lives of children every day you go to work, visit our careers page at https://.necco.org/careers.