"Dear new foster mama,
I want you to know that foster care is not easy, it’s hard. It may be the hardest thing you will ever do, but it’s so worth it.
I want you to know that you are a REAL mom. Although this child may not be biologically yours, you are their mom. You are responsible for this child. For keeping them safe, happy, healthy, making sure they feel loved.
But love will not heal everything, it won’t be enough. You will feel like you have gone to the end of the earth for this child, yet they still lash out at you. But do it anyways, love them without any expectations. Because love is what they need, it’s the greatest gift you can give them.
It’s ok to ask for help. Ask your family to take them for the day, overnight so you can have some time to breathe. Get respite care for the weekend, ask your caseworker for help, reach out to other foster parents for advice. You are only human, and you can not handle everything alone. It takes a village.
I want you to know birth parents are not the enemy. They are hurting. They’ve had their children ripped from them. Love them, pray for them, cheer them on. Let them know you are there to love and take care of their children, while they take care of themselves.
Last but not least I want you to know that you are making a difference in lives. Although some days when you’re crying on the bathroom floor, it may not feel like it. You are. Give it time. Give these kiddos time to heal, give them time to know you’re not just another person who will abandon them.
“My words of wisdom to anyone thinking about becoming a foster parent is to go all in. You will never regret the investment of time, love, and compassion you have sown into the lives of a child.” -Sara Dumas"
- Adi (@adiminardo on Instagram)